Knowing our worth, our limits, and how to set boundaries & determine the access we give.
In late 2023, my husband and I started discussing where to live. I am a US citizen, and he is a German citizen. We made a list of the pros and cons of several US and European cities. Jumping forward to April 2024, we decided to revisit that list. One of the countries listed was Portugal. We both visited Lisbon in the past and loved it, but we really wanted to check out Porto. We both joined a couple of Facebook groups related to relocating to Portugal, and we decided to write a little blurb about ourselves and ask if anyone wanted to hang out and show us around. Only one person sincerely wanted to meet up. This is how I met Liliana Santizo.
Liliana is an international girlie who grew up in the US and decided to change her life by moving to Porto to build a new life. She is such an exciting person to talk to. She has stories as if she’s lived multiple lives, she understands people and human nature, and if there are things she does not quite understand, she’s not afraid to ask or do research. Some of this seems basic, but I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as intuitive or wise as her. She’s not a “what do you do for work” kind of woman. No, she’s a “what are you passionate about” girlie. She wants to know about your life, story, challenges, and what makes you happy.
My husband and I met with Liliana for drinks on a rainy Friday in Porto in April. I was shocked by how open and approachable she was. I’m pretty introverted, so I was glad to be around two talkers! She asked about our story, and we told her how we met, about our wedding, and our plans for the future. I also told her that I recently left my job due to burnout but didn’t go deeper into it.
My husband and I ultimately decided that Portugal may not be the place for us at the moment, but I happened to make a friend there.
Liliana started an IG live series called Love Notes, discussing topics related to the human experience. This is a solid fit for her. I was thrilled when she asked me to join her in discussing my experience with burnout. We scheduled a 30-minute preliminary call to discuss the topic, and, my goodness, that call went over by an hour! We had so much to catch up on, and it almost became a therapy session for both of us.
We originally planned to have the IG live conversation on Saturday, July 6th, but we had some technical issues. I was okay with moving the date anyway, as I was getting over being sick. So, the new date was scheduled for Sunday, July 14th! I was nervous. I haven’t done much “public speaking,” and I don’t think I’m the best at it. I was born and raised in New Jersey, and “like” has become an inherent part of my vocabulary, but I did it. I told my story. More topics discussed were “girl bossing too close to the sun,” how you know when you’ve reached your threshold, and guilt when it comes to rest.
This conversation meant so much to me; I was surprised by how comfortable I felt. I hope you take the time to listen to this conversation below. The effects of burnout affected me deeply, and it’s a topic too many can relate to. We’ll do this again soon, as we only touched the surface.
Thank you, Liliana, for speaking with me, listening to me, and being my friend!
Sending my love,
Dani
All of Her Things 
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