All of Her Things

I’ve been doing my usual overthinking lately about how I’ve been spending my time and using my energy. My husband and I have been traveling back and forth between the US and Germany for about a year now, and I’ve been reflecting on the things that I do and don’t value as we navigate this temporary lifestyle.  There is so much to do like running errands, prepping for travel, and other work that it’s becoming increasingly important for me to nourish aspects of my life that I value.

What I valued before

If you asked to me in the beginning of 2024 what I valued most, I think I’d put money and my relationship with my then fiancé at the top of the list to be honest. But why? I realized it was because those were the only things making me happy at the time. I was making good money, although I was very unhappy at my job, but hey, I could buy things. Of course, my fiancé would be at the top of the list, but it was extremely hard to value my time with him. I was constantly depressed and overwhelmed by everything. He should have been my escape, but I was kind of stuck in the life I built for myself, the good and the bad.

Here are some things I’ve grown to value much more now than I did six months ago.

Relationships

Since we have been in each country for about 2-3 months, I’ve noticed that my relationships have become way more valuable to me. We’re all so busy, and we can only see our loved ones every few weeks or months anyway. When I’m in the US, I value my time with my close friends and family, and I hope they value my presence as much as I do theirs. I try to make the people who have made my life truly meaningful a priority. The quality of my friendships is much more valuable now.

I also value my relationship with my husband. I feel like we’re able to make decisions that work for us. I feel we are growing as a couple as I’ve let go of the things dragging me down as a human. We’ve only been married for less than a year, but I didn’t feel like a good partner. I feel better where I stand with him now, as a better partner and wife.

My Time

So much planning has to go into these back-and-forth trips. It’s crucial for me to make lists of all the things I need to do and all the steps so I don’t lose track and waste time feeling overwhelmed. On the other hand, I’ve been appreciating my rest and alone time. I believe I’ve become better at setting boundaries and using my time as I’d like to rather than how others want me to.

My Energy

I suffered from burnout and being overworked a few months ago and decided to leave my job. It took some time to even feel like I was healing. I couldn’t put my energy into even some of the smallest tasks. I’ve started giving myself daily tasks I know I can accomplish. Unfortunately, I can’t have too many without feeling overwhelmed, but it’s been good so far, and I’ve gotten quite a bit done. While I value all this travel and consider it a privilege, I see the value in rest and taking a weekend to do nothing as well.

Culture and Differences

Living part-time in another country makes me value my culture more, all parts of it. It’s not that I didn’t value it before, but I’ve learned quite a few differences between German culture and Black American culture and our experiences. I feel lucky to experience another culture so deeply, but I also love being different. I find that my husband’s and my cultural differences positively impact how we live together and function. We both appreciate each other’s cultures and are constantly learning from one another. No matter where we are, we embrace who we are.

The Things That Make Me Happy

I’d like to share that I’ve been feeling much better. I’ve been trying to prioritize the things that have made me happy. I created the “All of Her Things” Instagram page, a fun project to share writing and thoughts. I’ve also started a cute video diary series. I’ve been exercising more and have a decent routine again. I’ve started taking voice lessons again and realized I’m still good.

Although I have to do things slowly and give myself small tasks each day, I’m doing more to invest in myself since I am something I value too!